You know those times when things really start to get on top of you? Final straw broke the camels back for me last night after we had some friends over and I was mortified by the way our kids behaved. They so know how to use manners and how to behave...so what the hell happens when they come in contact with people?
Its been a hard month or two where I'm feeling utterly incompetent in all my roles as mother, wife and professional. I am swamped, tired and angry that despite my best efforts nothing is seeming to run smoothly, or show the outcomes of the effort put in. The house is a constant battle to keep in any semblance of order, the kids are constantly at each others throats, not using their manners and being disrespectful and I am exhausted dealing with it all.
I go back to work in 2 days after the break, and I don't feel ready or enthused....not a good thing.
After a good cry last night I've sat down today to make 'tactical response plans' (which is how I usually deal with this kind of thing once I've fallen in a heap. Time to get up..."now what am I going to do about it" type thing.
I'm keeping up the high expectations of the kids and yes we've have a few 'Stand and think' sessions for both of them today. I've revamped our routines and looked at the tough spots. And realised why I get so stressed when I do - hubby's not usually home at the busy times of the day when I really need an extra set of hands. Like someone to run bathtime/clean the aftermath while the other tidies up the dinner dishes etc. Shift work is a killer for both the person doing it and for their partner.
In any case Hubby has come to the party agreeing to do some set chores 'sometime' during his week between shift hours. Those are things I can rely on being done and forget about them.
Anyway - boring post for anyone reading this. Personal rant and recovery really. Sometimes you just need to vent.
Despite feeling blergh today - I had to stop smile and quickly grab my camera for a moment of bliss when I saw this little guy on our railing outside the window. Isn't he beautiful? We are getting more and more small variety birds - and the Robin is one of my favourites.
Just as good as a bluebird of happiness.