Tonight is the new moon and I've been thinking about what I want to get rid of. Unhealthy stress. Not the kind that motivates or niggles because something should really be acted on, but the movie reel over and over in my head type stress. The pointless kind that I end up feeling sick over or getting headachey over when my logic part of my brain tells me 'this is really stupid, let it go or deal with it in another way'.
I bring work stress home, even though I try not to. I worry about interactions I've had with people during the day - what did they mean by.....?, did I come across as too 'know-it-ally', aloof, a bad parent, a complete ditz etc. I haven't written/phoned/seen such and such in ages - I wonder if they're going to be upset/feel snubbed etc. I worry about so many things...despite my logical brain screaming 'GIVE IT A REST'.
I know I shouldn't do this. I try on a daily basis to be the best kind of person I can be. That is the honest truth. I shouldn't beat myself up about the number of times I fall short, because I don't hold others to ransom for these kinds of things....we get busy/tired/suffer from compassion fatigue sometimes, all of us. And yet, these niggly thoughts creep in constantly and I end up playing those reels, even when I'm in the garden where I should just be focussing on relaxing.
This moon, I am giving myself permission to ignore and send off all those useless thoughts.
And perhaps, if there's truth in the idea that a new habits takes 28days to form, it'll stick!
I'm going to plant a sunflower seed by this new moon (or lack thereof!) so I have a reminder every day of this goal. Perhaps by the time it flowers, I'll be feeling as sunny as it is.